what holds behind the heart

im having a hard time now. i dont want to be connected to the world. i am all stress out by school and relationship.

when will i ever accomplish something smoothly?
why do things turn out this way?
why i just cant make things work?
why do i have to screw up times and again?
all these whys are making me nuts.

head against head, rime against time. no words to describe how i am feeling. my finger tips became numb, no inspirational words to run through my finger tips. i'm feeling small, feeling scared in this pathetic world.


disconnected... . .

being as retarded as it is. im feeling so depressed. having a one man show fyp has already make things complicated fer me. and now, sam is doing all the job fer me. while fer me? im sitting here blogging. hahhahas!
i feel so bad but i seriously knows nuts about it. teach and at the same time do up the coding. oh my, a treat from me is definitely not a miss.
alrite, back to werk now. RUNING RUNNING RUNNINGGGGGGGG

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one else could know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart

I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you

just when i thought everything would soon be back on track, a lightning strike.

i will not stand up again. im still tryin hard.
millions x prayers, millions x message. it never work.

it used to be black and white till you came to add colors and created a rainbow fer me.